It can be difficult to realize that dad or mom need more care in a setting like assisted living. Just as your parents kept us safe and secure when we needed it, there comes a time when we’re called upon to return this same caring concern with our parents.
Steps to Take When Your Parents Need Assisted Living
Some of us will provide care to our parents or senior loved ones in our own home for a period of time, but this scenario is not always possible for all families, or…always desired by the children or parents themselves. Many families will in turn, find themselves searching for an assisted living community. These communities provide an intermediate level of residential care for seniors who aren’t safe living by themselves.
Ideally, your parents can be full participants in the search, but if your loved one is impaired by Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, you may to proactively take more control of the decision making.
If you see that your parent(s) need assisted living, here are some steps that can help you find them the right care:
1. Determine what you can afford.
Like it or not, money is going to be a factor in many families’ searches. Look at what your family can afford on a monthly basis. You may be need to look into creative ways to pay for care, like social security, veterans benefits, or long-term care insurance if your parents have that available to them. Some families may have to consider difficult options such as pooling resources from the adult children, selling a family home, or even cashing in a life insurance policy.
2. Research assisted living communities in the area you are planning to have your parents live.
Make a list of needs and preferences and research which communities can meet those criteria while being in your price range. For those families who ultimately cannot afford private-pay senior care and will require state assistance in the form of Medicaid, an appropriate resource is your county’s Aging & Disability Resource Center (ADRC).
3. Visit a number of assisted living communities.
No amount of time viewing brochures, floor plans, photos, or reviews can substitute for an in-person visit to an assisted living community. Schedule visits for you and your parent at a minimum of three communities on your short list. If you and your parent have the time and stamina, it may be helpful to visit more communities as you narrow the search. A good time to tour is during a meal, such as lunch, so potential residents can try the food and get a good sense of the community’s culture; as many residents will be out and about during a mealtime. Based on these initial tours, narrow down your search to two or three favorites. Perform follow-up tours…perhaps even unannounced…to get a good sense for the community you and your parent are considering.
4. Include your parent or senior loved one.
The more involved your parents are in the search, the better. Of course, you can do much of the legwork for them, but have discussions with your parents about their desires and preferences and, ideally, present them with a range of options.
5. Prepare to move.
If you’ve come this far in the process, there’s no sense in delaying the move. It’s risky to procrastinate when a parent needs care, as the delay can lead to avoidable accidents and medical problems.
6. Work together towards a decision.
Whether your parent is choosing the community themselves or you need to make that decision for parents impaired by Alzheimer’s or dementia, try to make sure that everyone in your family feels good about the choice. When possible, have conversations with your parents discussing the pros and cons of each option and try to find consensus about the right option.